Rory's Diary
by Siaram
Summary: Future fict, Trory, Rory needs help figuring out what she wants in life


_I don't have any rights in Gilmore girls… I'm living in my own fantasy world_

_Author note: Remember English is my second language, sorry for any of the mistakes, I want to improve but I need people to tell me about my mistakes and explain them. _

**Preface**

Hello, my name is Rory Gilmore, actually it's Lorelai Leigh Gilmore because when I was born my mom was thinking:

"Hey! All the men do that, why wouldn't I name my child after me?"

So, as you probably figured out, I got named after my mom.  I've always been cherished and spoiled.  We never had much, we didn't have money and for ten years, we've lived in a shack behind the Inn where my mom worked but for the last thirteen years, I've had a place to call home.  Not that before it wasn't filled with memories that I wouldn't cherish for the rest of my life, it's just that I had my own room and my mom did also.  I still have that room reserved for me even thaought I now live in New York, working for the New York Times as an intern and that my mom is remarried and I now have one more sibling.  I've always dreamed of going to Harvard and becoming an international correspondent but with time passing and being scared of staying too far from home, I decided to attend Yale.  My dream is now shattered, that's why I need help into resolving this matter so I'll let you read my diary to help me figure things out but before I do, I need to tell you a little about me.

I was raised as a person who could do no wrong even when I did, my mom would explain me why it was wrong.  My mom is a wonderful person who taught me that I could never do anything wrong and that I could be anyone I want to be.  She got me when she was sixteen and I think that she did a wonderful job raising me on her own.  She refused to marry my father because she thought it would ruin both of their future.  It's not that I ruined my mom's future but she didn't want me to be raised by Hartford society and attend functions because it would look good.  She didn't want to make me wear a two thousand dollar dress to go to a wedding and not be able move for the whole night.  She didn't want me to be raised by a society where money runs everything and for that, she left everything she knew behind.

When we moved in Stars Hollow, I became the precious little girl to the whole town.  My town is a very small town, a town of gossip and looking at what the neighbors are doing as an excitement, it's a weird town but I love them dearly.  They always believed in me.  I was the dear child of the town.

I've been spoiled with love and dreams.  I never thought much of what other people thought of me which is probably why I am the way I am.  I've never drank or smoked for the deception of my mom because she think that all teenage girl should have fun and experiment.  I've always been a straight A student, the mature one in the house.  My grandparents adore me and had great expectations for my future.  My grandfather thinks that no boys are good enough for me while my grandmother looks at the reputation, the last name and the bank account.  My mom just wants me to be happy.

I've had my first love, Dean, he will always be a person that I'll cherish for the rest of my life.  With his great look and his honesty, he has found a way to my heart.  We have dated for two years, minus one break up of a couple of months.  He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend.  Little did I know then that love wasn't a close friendship.  He was the best first boyfriend a girl could have: Respect, tenderness, never tried to go over the limits.  He broke up with me the first time because I couldn't say the big "I love you".  Instead I said I love the car.  Stupid of me, I know but I was sixteen and oblivious to the matters of love.  When we came back together was that day he came to pick me up at Chilton.  I remember that week like if it were yesterday, Tristan wanted me to go to a concert with him, Paris got mad at me because she wanted to the worst in me, and to top it all, Louise and Madeline had to stop talking to me because Paris said so.  It was the last day of school and that is when I told Dean that I loved him, in the courtyard, in front of everybody.

Dean and I had a little fight, nothing major but Tristan had made his blood boil.  For the second time in the lapse of six months, I said that I hated a single person, which was Tristan.  I was supposed to be Juliet and he was supposed to be Romeo in a Shakespeare interpretation that we had to make.  Unfortunately, Tristan got shipped to military school and Paris ended up by being Romeo.  If you would let me choose between kissing Paris and Tristan in the final act, I would choose Tristan anytime.  Then, Jess came to town, he was Luke's nephew.  Luke was our coffee provider who was secretly in love with my mom.  They are now married and had my little sister but back to Jess now. I had a thing for him, not like I had for Dean because Dean was my best friend and I loved him dearly.  Jess on the other hand was someone exciting like I've never met before, we loved the same books, we had those amazing conversations and he was always there to make special attention for me which always surprised me.  Then, one night, there was this dance marathon, I had to sleep, I was tired, my mom who was my dance partner had broken a heel and Dean broke up with me.  He said that I didn't want him as boyfriend anymore because I like Jess and that he couldn't be blind anymore.

From then, things went well between me and Jess.  We were kissing and having fun together until one night when he showed up at my grandmother for dinner with a black eye.  I thought he went onto a fight with Dean so I got mad.  Later on, he told me he got hit by a ball while exchanging the ball with a buddy.  That's the first time I thought about having sex.  Then things started to go down between me and Jess.  Maybe I should have gone with him that night but instead, I went to talk with my mom.  We never had sex together; he left before that, just after telling me that he couldn't bring me to the prom.  Even though he came back after, we were both over our story but I'm still wondering if it's the fact that I've started thinking about sex that ruined our relationship.

Dean got married, we're still friends and I still love him like you could love a friend.  Jess became my step cousin and we still like the same thing about each other except the fact that we're are over forever. 

I met Mark on my first year of Yale; he was wonderful, smart and kind.  Then at the end of the school year, I realized what was lust and passion and that is where I'll let you read my journal.  Please, tell me what you think of my story, it will mean a great deal to me since I don't know where to go with my life anymore.

Rory Gilmore


End file.
